


don't pretend

by nicosolace



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: M/M, fake relationship au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:25:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicosolace/pseuds/nicosolace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>au where "we hate each other but our parents set us up on a date and we're messing with them by being in a fake relationship and you're taking this to extremes and i quite like it but shut up i hate you."</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't pretend

**Author's Note:**

> ah yes, the fake relationship au.  
> basically, the zimmermann's are in georgia to catch up with the bittle's, and jack and bitty's parents set them up together and they pretend to be together, and you know how fake relationships end...

~~It wasn't that Eric Bittle hated Jack Zimmermann...~~

No, he **hated** Jack Zimmermann.

He hated him more than Georgia in the summer, he hated him with all the hate you can hate with, and then a little bit more.

In fact, Eric hated him so much, he was in a relationship with him.

\--

Eric's mother, Suzanne, was Alicia Zimmermann's roommate in college and they had kept in touch as their kids grew up. The Bittle's and Zimmermann's spent holidays together, along with going camping with each other on weekends. Of course, this was before Jack and Eric had decided that they despised each other. Throughout the years of spending time with Jack, Eric had always seen him as arrogant, spoiled and self-centered. He had everything, what with his father being a big-shot hockey player that won the Stanley Cup. And Jack had always seen Eric, or as he called him 'Bitty,' as selfish, narrow-minded and obsessive. They never got along very well.

After they had _'drifted apart,'_ Eric didn't hear about Jack for years. He knew his parents still kept in touch with the Zimmermann's, but he couldn't care less. Eric was focused on college, on his studies and on his baking. As his sophomore year in college came to a close, however, Eric received a call from his mother. 

"Dicky! Hello!" She nearly yelled.

"Hey Mom. How are you?" He greeted in response, a small smile on his face.

"I'm excited, three days until you're home! Are you excited?"

"You know I am. Have you got enough flour and sugar for the pies? Lord knows how this frat house oven holds me back." Eric chuckled.

His mother laughed, "Of course. And before you hear it from Coach, the Zimmermann's are staying with us for about a week." Eric sighed, "I know how much you _love_  their son, kidding. You need to put that in the past and move on. Jack has changed and you have too, just promise me you'll keep it civil."

"Only if he does. Besides that, I have a new recipe to try when I get home." Eric added.

"Okay, I can't wait! Love you, Dicky."

"Love you too, Mom." He replied, and went back to packing his room up.

\--

Three days later, Eric had landed in Georgia and already baked three pies after landing only hours before. He knew he was stress baking before the Zimmermann's came over. Ugh. He couldn't even think about Jack Zimmermann without gagging, and couldn't wait until the week was over. As he helped his mom make dinner and get everything ready, he could only think about the guy he hated and his (very nice) family. He sighed.

The doorbell rang, signaling that their guests had arrived. His mother rushed to answer the door and Eric straightened his sweater and stood behind his father. When his mother brought the Zimmermann's and their luggage into the dining room, Eric saw how much they had changed. Bob had more gray hair and wrinkles than Eric had remembered, Alicia looked the same pretty much with laughter lines around her eyes, but Jack had changed the most. When Eric had known him years prior, Jack was short and stout, with messy black hair and an awkward demeanor. Now, Jack was over 6 feet tall, fit and his hair was short and combed. The only thing that hadn't changed were his eyes, there were still a striking blue, like they were looking into you. Eric refocused onto Bob and Alicia as he went to greet them.

"Eric! You look so grown up!" Alicia said. Eric held out his hand but she pulled him into a hug, "Hey, no handshakes. We're practically family." 

Eric laughed, "Right." 

"You're looking taller and like a real gentleman." Bob commented as he pulled Eric into a bear hug, mushing him against him a little too tightly. But that was Bob.

"Thank you, Bob. Good to see y'all again." Eric mumbled into Bob's shirt.

Bob excused himself to go sit by Alicia, and Eric shook hands with Jack, "Nice to see you again, Eric." Jack greeted him.

"Nice to see you too, Jack." Eric responded with a fake smile on. Eric went to the table and sat into the seat across from Jack, also the farthest seat from Jack, coincidentally. As dinner started, everyone chatted about what they had all missed since they'd been together last. 

Coach started up the dreaded _'What are you doing with the rest of your life?'_ questions as he asked Jack, "So, Jack, how's hockey going?"

Jack set down his fork and cleared his throat, "It's going really good, I've been with the Falconers a few months and had a lot of fun. It's been a real learning experience for me." Eric rolled his eyes, _'a real learning experience.'_ Gosh, he forgot how pretentious Jack was.

Suzanne asked the next question, "Any girls in your life?"

Jack gave a smile as he answered, "No, no girls." He cleared his throat again and Alicia patted his hand, "I'm gay actually. So, no girls for me." 

Eric choked on his drink as Coach glanced at him, concerned. Suzanne smiled, and carried on, "That's great! Just find someone that makes you smile."

Jack smiled at her again, "Thank you, Suzanne. I hope I will." The conversation then shifted to what Eric was doing.

"Eric, what are you studying?" Alicia asked.

Eric wiped his mouth and answered, "I'm studying American Culture and English at Samwell University in Massachusetts. It's been a lot of fun and really enjoyable, and I can't wait for the next two years."

"Any one on the dating radar?" Bob asked.

"No. I've been focusing on school mainly this year, so I didn't have any time for a... boyfriend." He clarified, and he saw Jack's eyes go wide.

Alicia looked at Jack and then back to Eric, "Since you are both single, you boys should go out the rest of the night. Just to see if this bad blood is over or not. Right Suzanne?"

Suzanne gave a huge grin, "Of course! There's a good frozen yogurt place down the street, you guys should stop by after we finish up here. Go and grab some dessert." Oh, Bitty was going to get her for this. She'd planned this hadn't she?

"Oh, um. I'm okay with that. Bitty," Jack spoke up, using the old nickname he had called Eric years prior, "is that okay with you?"

Eric tried to look calm as he answered, "It's perfectly fine with me, but we should go now before it gets too late." He and Jack stood to grab their coats as their parents whispered to each other. With smiles that were much too big. Everyone said their goodbye's and Bob gave a 'good luck!' as they stepped out into the garage. Both got into Eric's car and as he drove, he and Jack stayed silent. Eric had Beyoncé going on in the background, just to spite Jack.

Stepping into the shop, Eric ducked under Jack's arm as he held the door open. Eric grabbed a cup and went to fill it up, Jack followed suit. Bitty filled his cup up with chocolate flavor and put as many toppings on as he could and Jack got vanilla and put fruit on it. Bitty was confused. Who puts fruit on their frozen yogurt? Jack Zimmermann apparently. One more reason to hate him.

As they neared the register, Eric pulled out his wallet, "I got it, Bitty."

Eric rolled his eyes, "It's Eric and I can pay for myself, Mr. Zimmermann."

"It's Jack, and if you say so." Jack retorted. Eric grabbed his cup and sat at a booth and slid into his seat.

Jack took a few spoonfuls of his abomination of frozen yogurt and spoke, "You want to talk about how our parents ganged up on us to make us go on a date? Because I think we should, as much fun as sitting in silence is."

Eric sighed, "My mom must have called yours before I came back. How she does it, I'll never know."

"You know what we should do?" Jack asked, and Eric shook his head, "We should go back, pretend like this went perfectly, nothing bad happened, and that we decided to start dating. I mean, we have to spend the next week together, and I don't really want to talk about my love life anymore. So if we do this, they'll get off our backs about it. And we get to mess with them for a little while." 

Eric smiled, "Alright I can do that. Do you know what we're doing the rest of the week?"

Jack thought for a second, then answered, "We're going out tomorrow night, then we're going bowling and then we're just staying in."

"Sweet. Do we have to act all lovey-dovey?" Eric thought out loud.

"Crap. I hadn't thought of that." Jack responded, then got an idea, "We'll just act all mushy, like hand-holding, hugging, sitting together, and stuff like that, and if they ask for a kiss or whatever we'll oblige so it doesn't look suspicious. And since no parent really wants to see that, they'll leave us alone."

Eric took another bite of his froyo, "Just don't call me honey and we'll get along just fine."

"Okay Bitty." Jack laughed as Eric rolled his eyes again.

"Mr. Zimmermann I swear..." Eric was drowned out by the sound of Jack laughing. They continued to talk for a few more minutes or until they finished their froyo. Spending nearly an hour with his childhood _'enemy'_ was weird to Eric but he didn't question it too much.

Arriving back at the house, Jack and Eric talked before getting out of the car about holding hands when they went in. They both agreed and so they stepped in the house with their hands clasped together, Jack rubbing his thumb along Eric's hand. They walked in to see to see their parents talking with each other. When they saw the boys, they all lit up like they hadn't been talking about them moments before.

"How did it go?" Suzanne asked speaking for everyone. They were sitting on the edge of their seats anxious to hear what happened.

Jack spoke up, "It went really well. The bad blood is in the past." Eric stood closer to Jack and held their hands up for proof and their parents stared at them, not believing what they were seeing.

"You guys are really okay?" Bob asked, "You're not just trying to trick us, are you?"

Eric gulped, "I don't think if we still hated each other we would even acknowledge the other person, if that's any indication. Plus we would never do that to you guys."

"It's good to see you guys got over whatever happened. It's still a mystery to us," Coach piped up, "must not have been important whatever it was."

Jack and Eric moved to sit on the couch with their parents, they sat close to each other with their hands still clasped together, "I don't even remember what we fought about half the time." Jack gave a breathy laugh.

Eric nodded, "Dumb kid stuff, I guess." _'And the fact that you're a spoiled brat.'_ he thought to himself.

The night continued on with the families talking about what everyone missed. Every once in a while Bob or Coach would bring up an embarrassing story about one of the boys as they blushed. As the parents continued talking about jobs and everything, Eric leaned back on Jack and fell asleep. Jack looked down at him and rolled his eyes. But eventually Jack joined him and the pair stayed like that their legs tangled together, Eric's head on Jack's shoulder and Jack's head on Eric's, hands still fastened together. Their parents didn't wake them but instead found the sight adorable and even snapped a few pictures as blackmail.

\--

The next morning Eric woke up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket. Getting up, he rubbed his eyes and headed into the kitchen. Jack was sat at the kitchen table reading the newspaper, a plain black coffee in hand. He raised his head as Eric walked into the room.

"Look who's finally up!" Jack announced to no one in particular. Eric pursed his lips in annoyance.

"Where is everyone?" Eric asked as he got a slice of pie and a glass of milk.

Jack flipped the page, "They went on a walk a few minutes ago, they should be back soon."

"Why was I sleeping on the couch?" Eric asked as he sat next to Jack.

"Because you decided to fall asleep on me last night and then refuse to get up when I shoved you. Multiple times, might I add." Jack told Eric.

"You slept on the couch with me?" Eric paused.

Jack laughed, "It's not like I could get up. You may be under 130 pounds but you pinned me onto the couch."

Eric took another bit out of the pie, then apologized, "Sorry about that, it won't happen again."

Jack put his hand on Eric's and said, "You don't have to apologize, Bitty. I fell asleep after my dad started talking to yours about which football documentary was better. For the record, your dad was right."

Laughing, Eric responded, "Glad I was asleep for that," He cleared his throat and changed the subject, "Do you remember what we used to argue about?"

"Stupid stuff. Like who could skate better or who could make a better sandcastle. I always hated you because your sandcastles were better." Jack smiled.

"You're ridiculous."

"Why did you hate me, then?" Jack asked, folding the newspaper back up and focusing on Eric, taking his hand.

"Um, gosh, I hated you because you were always talking about the famous person you had met the day before, or the fact that you knew Wayne Gretzky." Eric grinned, "But I was the better skater."

"Oh, were you? You want to test that out today?" Jack challenged and Eric snorted.

"Please, Zimmermann. You may be the big-shot hockey player but I was a figure skater. Skate is right in the word!" 

"Is that a yes?" Jack inquired.

"You bet your butt it is." Eric said, getting real close to Jack's face. Jack looked down to Eric's lips and Eric did the same. Jack stood up and coughed, wanting to break the tension.

"I'm going to go get dressed. We're leaving in 30, Bitty!" Jack called as he rushed away. Eric sat in his seat, still confused as to what had just happened. Did he want to kiss Jack Zimmermann? No, of course not. He hated him. But did Jack Zimmermann want to kiss him?

25 minutes later, Eric was back downstairs, talking to his parents about what they were doing the rest of the day. Jack walked downstairs, in sweatpants and a Falconers jersey. "Ready to go, Bitty?" He asked, grabbing a water bottle.

Eric grabbed his keys, "The question is Zimmermann, are **you** ready to get absolutely schooled in front of a bunch of people?" Jack just laughed, shaking his head.

"Maybe we'll stop by later." Bob said, smirking.

"Please do. Just so everyone can see me show Jack up." Eric called back, walking to the garage.

"Oh please, Bitty. You know I'm better. I always have been." Jack said as he followed, Eric hit his arm and shut the door to the garage.

"Well it's good to know they aren't competitive or anything." Suzanne commented.

Walking into the ice skating rink, Jack put his arm around Eric, and he leaned against Jack. As they grabbed their skates and went to put them on, they saw that the rink was empty, except for a few people. Eric was the first one on the ice and he did a lap or two before Jack got on. "Hey, Bits," Jack called, "come here for a sec."

Eric skated over to Jack, still annoyed at the nickname, "What do you need Zimmermann?"

"You want to race, or do you want to skate for a while?" He asked.

"Let's wait until everyone gets here, then I'll kick your butt."

Jack sighed, "You are so aggressive for someone that is so small."

Eric hip-checked him and pouted a bit, "Watch it, Jack."

They skated around the rink for a while, trying to one-up each other. When Jack skated backwards, Eric did a spin. When Eric did jumps, Jack did moves that Eric had no idea he could do. After about 30-minutes, their parents showed up, skates in hand. When they got on the ice, Jack and Eric stopped trying to show-off to the other person and skated over to them.

"Alright, you boys ready to race?" Coach asked.

Jack put his arm on Eric's head and responded, "This kid's all talk, so I'm ready to put a stop to it." 

Eric shook his arm off and glared at Jack, "Bless your heart, Zimmermann."

"Alright love birds, let's get this started." Coach spoke up as Suzanne and Alicia snickered in the back. Jack and Eric stood by the entrance next to each other, Eric jokingly blew Jack a kiss (for good luck), and Jack rolled his eyes. Bob yelled "GO!" and they were off.

Eric let Jack pull in front of him for a while until he heard, "C'mon slowpoke!" and so Eric raced up to Jack in order to go in front of him and Eric beat him, barely. Cheers from his parents were unmistakable, and everyone in the rink watched because did that small kid just beat **Jack Zimmermann**?

"Aw, Zimmermann, how's it feel to get beat by someone half your size?" Eric taunted.

"Rematch?" Jack asked, a plan in mind. 

Eric sighed, "One more, that's it." As they got ready at the 'start,' Bob called "GO!" again and Jack let Eric get in front of him. When they were halfway through, Jack raced up to Eric and caught his attention.

"Hey, Bits," Jack called and Eric turned towards him right as Jack planted a kiss on his lips. Eric slowed, dumbfounded, which gave Jack the space he needed to beat Eric across the finish. Their parents were in the stands watching this unfold and then laughing as hard as they could. Jack went over to them and high-fived his dad as he heard Eric yell, "ZIMMERMANN! GET OVER HERE!" Jack turned and saw the smaller man with his arms crossed, fuming. Jack had no doubt that he was furious.

Jack skated over to Eric, "What's up?"

Eric lowered his voice and met Jack's eyes, "I thought we weren't going to kiss unless they nagged us. Besides, you call that a kiss?" Eric grabbed Jack's face and kissed him for a few seconds and pulled back, "Weak, Zimmermann." With that he skated back to their parents, who were still laughing.

"Oh." Was all Jack could say, shocked at how good of a kisser Bitty was. "Right." He skated back to the stands and started taking his skates off. Following their make-out session on the ice, Jack and Eric got a few weird looks from the employees there. They both blushed a bright red. 

\--

When it was nearing about time to go to dinner, Eric had just finished making a pie, and he was still in his sweatpants from earlier. Eric rushed upstairs and hurried to change. He picked out a plaid bowtie, a dark blue cardigan and grey slacks. At that time, he heard Jack call his name from one of the guest rooms.

"Bitty, can you help me out in here?" Jack called.

"Yeah, I'll be there in a sec." Eric replied as he straightened his bow tie. Eric walked to where Jack was, and he saw Jack leaning over his suitcase, trying to pick out what to wear. "What do you need Zimmermann?" Eric asked bluntly.

Jack snapped his head over to Eric and responded, "I can't figure out which tie to wear with which shirt."

Eric looked in Jack's wardrobe, picking out certain shirts and aligned them with certain ties, "You could wear this blue checkered shirt with this dark blue tie." Eric held it up to Jack, who nodded and went to put it on, and a few moments later he came back out. He stood awkwardly in front of Eric and Eric shook his head.

"Come here." Eric motioned. Jack walked over and Eric rolled his sleeves up just enough to have some lower arm action going on. After bickering with Jack about how much arm was formal enough, Eric straightened Jack's tie and smoothed everything out. Jack tilted Eric's head towards him.

"Sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier." Jack apologized.

"It was fine, I mean, the kiss wasn't but I think I made up for that." Eric winked at Jack as he stepped back.

"Right." Jack laughed, "Thanks for your help, we should probably head down now." He said as he put his hand on the small of Eric's back and headed downstairs.

Eric turned back to Jack, "You know, they can't see us. You don't have to pretend right now."

Jack pulled his hand back, "Sorry, forgot." When they stepped downstairs, their parents whistled.

"You two look so cute together, we need a picture!" Suzanne announced as she ran to grab her camera. Coming back a few moments later, she held her old camera and huffed, "Get close, and smile!" Jack wrapped his arm around Eric, who did the same and Eric leaned against Jack.

Suzanne grinned, "Perfect. How about a kiss?"

"Mom!" Eric exclaimed, face red. Jack laughed and Eric reached on his tiptoes to kiss Jack on the cheek, both laughing too much for it to be a good picture.

"Can we go now?" Eric asked, face fully flushed. "If you insist." Suzanne answered.

As they arrived at the restaurant, Eric grabbed Jack's hand and slid into the booth next to him. Their legs touching and hands clasped together under the table. Just in case anyone recognized the Zimmermann's. Jack thought it was unnecessary to hold hands if their parents or anyone else couldn't see but he decided to not question it. After the waitress gave everyone their drinks, Bob and Coach started to talk about football and Suzanne and Alicia were talking about the next trip they needed to plan together. Which left Jack and Eric to talk.

Jack lowered his head to whisper into Eric's ear, "You know we don't have to hold hands right now."

Eric looked into Jack's eyes and blushed, "You know you're a really bad whisperer, right?"

"You know you love me though, right?" Jack whispered again.

Eric blushed even harder, because Jack's breath was tickling his neck and who was he to say it didn't feel good? "Watch it, Zimmermann." Eric mumbled as jack laughed against him.

Bob cleared his throat, "Jack." He said sternly.

Jack jumped back from Eric when he realized what he'd done, "Sorry, _papa_." 

"Even though this is good for you two, not in public. You," Bob pointed to Jack, "are only out to the people at the table, and I doubt you want everyone to find out right now." Jack nodded as his father finished, "You're right, I'm sorry."

"And Dicky," Eric's mom started, "you may be around people that love and accept you, and always will, but we are still in Georgia... so you might want to be careful, hon."

Eric blushed again, "Thanks for the reminder." He said as he smiled at his mother. As dinner continued, Jack and Eric only passed furtive glances at each other, every now and then meeting eyes. Their legs were no longer attached together, and their hands were tucked into their individual laps.

Eric wanted to make it up to Jack, even though they weren't in an actual relationship. He had to keep reminding himself of that. He had to keep reminding himself that he hated Jack and always had, but then Jack would look at him and Eric would melt. It was Jack's stupid baby blue eyes and his dumb smile that shined like the sun. Wait, did he actually like Jack? His immediate reaction was no, but when Jack was whispering in his ear, he could only feel his heart beating faster and faster. Eric kicked himself. He had fallen for Jack Zimmermann.

Whenever Jack looked at Bitty, he saw Bitty's brown eyes looking back at him and Jack's heart softened. Bitty always looked like he was about to take on the whole world and, _mon Dieu_ , Jack couldn't resist it. He had started the trip intent on ignoring Bitty, but when he saw him again he'd forgotten about it. Bitty looked so innocent and so grown-up at the same time, with his Southern charm, his "y'all's" and his little button nose, Jack couldn't help but want to kiss him. Jack cursed, he'd fallen for a guy that used to be a name he'd spit at.

Both Jack and Bitty had these thoughts running through their minds as they were eating, occasionally brushing the other's hand or thigh. As dinner came to a close, they held hands again, both wishing it was real. Both kicking themselves because it was only a joke, a ruse, a ploy. Both wished it was real, and for them. Both thought the other one hated them when it was the exact opposite.

\--

Back at the house succeeding dinner, after their parents had gone to bed, Jack and Eric sat at the kitchen table in their pajamas, splitting a few bottles of beer. They talked about college, the NHL, coming out and about their 'relationship.' 

"Sorry about dinner tonight." Eric apologized, "I should have been more careful."

Jack looked at Eric, "Why are you sorry? I was the one being reckless. Need I remind you, I was right here." Jack whispered as he leaned right up to Eric's ear. 

Eric smiled and pushed him away, "Ok, so it was your fault, and also a bit of mine. I mean, who can control themselves if Jack Zimmermann is right next to them, breathing down their neck?" Eric breathed close to Jack and he saw Jack's face turn red, redder than Eric had earlier. Eric laughed as he leaned back in his chair.

"You have a point." Jack said as he took another sip out of his glass, "No one can resist breath tickling their neck. Especially if they're a little tipsy." 

Eric nodded, then lit up, "You know what we should do?" Jack shook his head, "Let's go play truth or dare upstairs, for old times sake." Jack agreed and they both downed the rest of their glasses and headed upstairs. They both sat on Eric's bed, wrapped up in blankets with the dim light of Eric's lamp illuminating the room. 

"Alright Jack," Eric announced, "Truth or dare?"

Jack thought for a moment and responded, "Truth."

"What was the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"

"Shit in the Stanley cup." Jack laughed, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Tell me a secret that you haven't told anyone." Jack said quietly.

Eric rolled his eyes, "Man, um, I don't know. One time in middle school, kids from the football team locked me in a closet at a sleepover and no one found me until the next morning. Not even my mom knows that."

Jack felt sorry for asking something so personal, so he said, "I'm sorry to hear about that, Bitty. Those guys are jerks."

"Yeah, but I've moved on." He smiled, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Hmm, I dare you to tell me if you have a crush on anyone."

"That's not how the game works, but yeah, I do." Jack answered, and Eric's heart fell, "Same question to you."

"I do." Eric responded and Jack's heart dropped.

"Who is it?" Jack asked.

"Uh-uh, Zimmermann, that's not how the game works." Eric mocked him, "Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

Eric took a breath out, "Who do you have a crush on?"

Jack debated saying someone else's name, but the alcohol was starting to get to his head so he said what he probably shouldn't have, "You."

Eric took in a sharp breath, " **Me?** You have a crush on me?"

"Yep. Now, same question to you." Jack said.

Instead of answering the question, Eric sat a little bit closer to Jack and whispered into his ear, "I have a crush on you, Mr. Zimmermann." Jack smiled as wide as he could and turned to face Eric, a dopey smile on his face. Eric thought about how bright Jack's eyes looked at that moment as they both leaned in and met in the middle. The kiss was chaste, and too short. Jack took Eric's face in his hands and kissed him deeply, both breaking for air now and then. Eric pulled back after a while and joked, "I still hate you though." And both he and Jack erupted in laughter.

Jack thought back to what Suzanne had said the night before, "Find someone that makes you smile." Jack had found that person, and it was Bitty. He smiled again as he curled up beside Bitty, kissing him goodnight.

 


End file.
